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A Review of The Mortal Perlis of Hell

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After an unlikely chain of incidences culminating with a mind-numbing clout on the head, Miles Orvis was medically dead for 6 hours before being resuscitated. During this period, Mr. Orvis (no choir boy he) was consigned to hell. Today, he gives us this review:

“First off, the food is excellent, exceedingly rich and well prepared. But the serving sizes are miniscule; often just half a bite and they take it away. There is nowhere to sit and the whole place is noisy. The clothing is extremely tight. And unlike in prison, where they typically disallow belts, in hell they supply all manner of leathery belts upon entering. Traffic is horrendous, not a single street sign or police officer to be seen. It is, however, an excellent place to talk politics, because there are loads of politicians down there. The best part about hell is the people. Interesting individuals of all sorts and no one holds back. Overall, on a scale of 1-10, I would give hell a 3, maybe a 4. Not as nice as Barbados, but preferable to Phoenix. Would I recommend to a friend? It depends where you’re coming from.”

Miles Orvis’ Quick Hell Info Guide

Wifi…………………………………………………………………………….None

Cover Charge………………………………………………………………….Prepay

Service……………………………………………………………………..Inattentive

Friendliness of Staff………………………………………………….Poor to medium

Décor………………………………………………………………………….Eclectic

Atmosphere ……………………………………………………….Lively and diverse

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