Unscientific reasons why gin drinkers are splendid
“When Einstein destroyed belief in ether, gin took over as the fifth element”
— Aurelio Calzada, ‘Maravilloso is the evening’
Men are from cat people and women are from dog people. You can complete a million online personality tests to determine which President, horror film character or Byzantine pickle you are. The science or psychological truth of such tests we assume must be immaculate, though occasionally we have doubts. Such distracting games flatter participants, and encourage belief in ‘types’ of people — when in reality (our reality, one shaped like a cucumber) there are only two types that we believe are worthy of mention: gin-drinkers and non gin-drinkers. It would be untrue to suggest one was more sophisticated and wonderful than the other. Our love of these individuals is not based on any empirical evidence, but then which (or what) love is? Nor can we define it.
We could also add that the ‘gin drinker’ needn’t be someone who actually drinks gin, which leads to the awkward idea that perhaps not all who drink gin are ‘gin drinkers’ (don’t worry, we know that you are).
I hope I have made myself clear, but feel today I may be floating in the ether. Perhaps I’ll leave the final word to the poet Säde Sundqvist, “ Nonsense is not the absence of truth, anymore than gin is the absence of tonic.”